Black Folks Need Help Too

So I finally got inspired. Unfortunately, I am inspired by the recent suicides that have a occurred. First Don Cornelius and then that pretty little girl that went to Bellaire High School. It really breaks my heart that even in this day and age we don't see the signs. Remember the ignorance of our people? We used to say things like, "black folks don't commit suicide or black folks don't go to therapy, we go to church." Just like you, I've heard this ignorant shit for years. If you take anything from this blog, take the fact that we are not exempt!

I especially hate the black folks don't go to therapy, we go to church thing. I believe in the healing of God as much if not more than anyone but I also believe God put people on this earth to help us. I don't know if we realize it but we are human just like any other race. It does not go against God or his word if you go and talk your feelings out with a trained professional. These people were given the skill and spiritual gift to ask you questions and probe you to talk about the weight of the wait...waiting to feel happy, waiting for love, waiting for healing, waiting for a financial breakthrough or waiting for a miracle. How many of you understand that everyone is not equipped to carry the weight alone? A therapist can help you identify the God-given tools you already have to help you deal with whatever situation you are going through.

I look at the little girl from Bellaire and I feel like I knew where she was mentally. Some people say she had so much going for herself. She was popular, she was beautiful....I don't get it. Realize that some people create a beautiful mask so you can't see the ugly sadness that is inside of them. Some of the most beautiful people are depressed and sad beyond belief. Please learn to notice the signs.

• If you hear a person constantly saying they are tired, not necessarily physically tired but mentally-this is a sign. What they are saying is they are tired and feel like giving up forever. If you notice a constant state of hopelessness, pay attention and take action.
• If you see someone that experiences extreme highs of happiness and extreme lows of sadness, this is a sign. They need your help.
• If you see someone isolating themselves and not enjoying the activities they used to, pay attention - this is a sign.
• If you see someone abusing substances such as alcohol, weed or/and prescription drugs, this is a sign. This person is attempting to numb themselves. Some people rather die than feel the impact or enormity of their feelings. Please know that overindulgence with these substances can be a sign of depression.

I am in no way a trained professional but I am a person who has struggled from depression in the past. I fortunately sought help on my own but some others may need a little encouragement. Recognize the signs and love and have the courage enough to help and save your loved ones. Remember no one is exempt.

Miracles and Blessings

I'm living the single-single-single...LIFE!

So I decided this year that I would take control of my 'single' life and enjoy the Heaven out of it. I'm changing the way I'm think about it all. It is no longer a curse but a blessing.

Here are the top 5 reasons I love being single:

1.I can get on a plane and fly anywhere I want anytime of the week without consulting a single soul.(I'm headed to San Francisco right now.)

2.I have my entire bed to myself. I can sleep as wild as I want and hog the covers without worrying if someone else is cold.

3.I get to spend all my money on what I want. No shared accounts no shared anything, everything is all mine.  

4.I get to be in a bad mood without someone constantly nagging me and asking me what's wrong. I have unlimited peace and quiet.

5.Lastly, I get to do what I want 200% of the time. If I wanna lay on the couch in my undies all day, I can do that. If I wanna go out to eat everyday of the week, I can. I can do all things through Christ without the help, influence or naysaying of anyone on earth. 

So the next time you are feeling lonely or depressed, pack your bags and leave and go anywhere because guess what? You can!

love should be the burger

Nothing was greater than a happy meal when we were kids. Those yummy fries, cheeseburger and toy were the highlight of many days. I was talking to my friend today about relationships and marriage and he stated that a lot of marriages these days are businesses transactions. It's all about what makes the most financial sense. He said, if you get love that's great but there are other elements that complete a marriage and love isn't the most important.

I TOTALLY disagree. Is this where life has brought us? Are we now getting married because the other person looks good on paper? If that's the case, I'm never getting married. If I do get married I promise you that love will be the main reason. I want to enhance someones life and be the main person in their life they need the most. I want to be the burger. lol Yes, finances are great but what about the other stuff? I want to fulfill the desires my significant other. I want someone to be full off the love that I've given them over the years. I don't want them to focus on my financial and professional accomplishments.

We all should vow that marriage will not be a like a job. We will not clock in ever morning and clock out at night when we go to sleep. Let's plan to eat, breathe and sleep love. If you aren't ready for a woman like that, please don't waste your time talking to me.

Nowadays a happy meal comes with a lot more options and so does life and potential significant others. Be sure to choose the one that not only adds to you but fulfills what you've dreamt about all your life. In your relationship, love should be the main driver. For God so LOVED the world that he GAVE...if you aren't giving all of yourself to better your mate, you don't love them. Don't just settle for being the option, make your love the main course.

Miracles and Blessings!

let me see if you can run it, run it!

We experienced some real fun when we were kids. I feel terrible that today's kids don't play outside as much as we used to. Going outside was like going to the club. You wanted to play outside all day and night until the sun came up. 1-2-3 red light, Ms. Mary Mack, mother may I, hop-scotch, double-dutch, jax, hide and seek, hide and go get (for you fast folks ;-) racing down the street or in the yard and my favorite, tag.

Tag was exciting because you knew what your goal was and you were the only person in charge of attaining it. All you had to do was run after the next person and touch them. That was it. Your winning or losing depending on no one but yourself. It wasn't a team sport but an individual quest.

Winning a game of tag is very much like life. You have to have your goal etched in your brain. You have to be able to see your goal and visualize yourself reaching it. You then have to chase after it like someone is running after you because in essence, if you don't catch your dream, someone else will. Run with purpose and the belief that you will indeed reach what you set out to achieve. Reach for your goal with all your might and just when you feel like you are too tired and can no longer run, reach up to God and out to his vision for your life. I guarantee you'll catch what is meant for you.

If you follow me on FB, you know that I run at Rice every Saturday. Some people really enjoy running. I am not one of those people. lol Running is a necessary evil for me. Even though the physical activity wears me down, it is the spiritual and mental exercise that keeps me going. I will tell you a little story about my run. I run the same dreadful path every Saturday. One Saturday I decided to run in the opposite direction.  I ran the same distance but the run was all together different because I changed the way I looked at it. Not only did I finish, but I finished strong and ready to cheer on the next person. Your run in life can be the same way.

Take control of your goals. Chase with purpose and reach what is meant to be yours.

Miracles and Blessings!

scatter-brain at it's finest

Todays' Blog will be a mindless brain dump. I am going to type everything that is going on in my head.

1. I wonder what I will look like when I get old? I hope I don't wear wigs. Wigs can be so soulful at times. I take that back, my Grandma's wig is super cute!
2. I have got to get my beach body back. I need a trip to Miami pronto-stat! Me and Nikki will kick it so hard out there.
3. My Grandpa is 84 years old! That is such a blessing. He has lived to see a lot of things and still talks a gang of shit. I love that dude.
4. My dog's haircut is so atrocious. I wonder if this is how people with ugly kids feel? :-/ He looks like he has been hitting crack rocks. Why did they have to shave his hair so short??? I cant wait until it grows back.
5. I am doing a good amount of traveling this month. I am so proud of myself. I am really sticking to these New Year's resolutions.
6. I need to go workout after this and I really don't feel like it. I wish I could take a pill like they did on the Jetsons and be fine all my life with no effort.
7. Trust in the Lord with all your heart.
8. Humming The Jets song, Crush on You. Old skool!
9. Go after your dreams and chase with a vengeance!
10. Remember making up dance routines? I will never forget me, my sister and Shonda doing a dance routine to Salt and Pepa's Push It. Why did my mama let us dance to that? lol It was completely inappropriatee. We danced around in our slips like we were Vanity 6. lmao Crazy kids.
11. I sure hope I can keep up writing this blog everyday. Sometimes I am at a lost for words but this is the most therapeutic thing I've done in my life.
12. I need to get off this blog site and do some work.
13. I miss my daddy. I need to call and check on him.

let romance fall like the raindrops in the sky

All this rain has me thinking about romance or the lack thereof.

One of my favorite movies is You've Got Mail with Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks. It's a completely sappy "girl" movie but I love it and could watch it over and over again. So here's a brief synopsis of the movie. Meg Ryan meets this guy on-line who she later finds out is her arch business rival. They hate each other in the business world but began to fall in love with each other via an Internet chat room they find on AOL. I love it because it takes you back to the time of dial-up Internet connection when it really took effort to get on-line. It's also romantic because they write each other day and night and discuss their feelings, their lives and possibly meeting each other in person. I'll stop there with the synopsis because I don't want to ruin the movie if there are actually still people in the world who haven't seen it.

All this points in the direction of today's question, where is the romance? I can't say that I've experienced the most romantic relationships in the world but I've definitely seen some men and women go out of their way to show their loved one how much they appreciated them. I remember dating a guy once who surprised me with my favorite candy and flowers at The Dessert Gallery. I thought it was the sweetest thing. What a lot of people fail to realize is it really is the thought that counts. People just want to know that they've crossed your mind. They want to know that when they are away from you, you miss them, you think about them and that you are counting down until the next time you see them again. 

Here are five simple things to keep the romance alive. Try one a day for a week and let me know how that weekend turns out for you. J

1. Write an old school love letter. Remember paper? Remember handwriting and spraying a love letter with your perfume or cologne? It would be LOVELY to receive something in the mail other than a bill. If you are at a lost for words, write down the lyrics to your favorite love song or poem that reminds you of that person. I promise when they receive that letter, they will smile and think of you for the remainder of the day.
2. When you are out grocery shopping pick them up a whole bunch of one thing they like. If your girl likes tulips, by her 3 dozen of tulips in different colors. If your dude likes Hershey candy bars, by him 20 of them. It's the thought that if that's what you like or love I want you to have as much as your heart desires.
3. When your visiting or staying over with your significant other, write them a sweet note in soap on the bathroom mirror. It's something about waking up, stumbling into the restroom and then being alerted by a sweet nothing written by the love of your life. Forget coffee, that will keep you awake and vibrant all day.
4. Go straight Cliff and Clair Huxtable and slow dance in the middle of the living room to your favorite romantic song. It may seem corny at first but try it. One night when things are quiet enough just turn on the radio, put the TV on the music channel or put your Ipod on Pandora and grab your boo and slow dance. This will do one thing that we all love, create a lasting memory. After all, isn't that one of the best  parts of love?
5. Lastly, try sitting down with your sweetheart and playing a romantic game full of questions that will take you down memory lane of your relationship. Ask things like, what was I wearing the first time I said I loved you or what place did you take me on our first date. With each correct answer, reward your sweetheart with something sweet. With each incorrect answer reward them with something sweeter so they won't forget the answer the next time you decide to play the game. Again, you just want to let someone know you appreciate them and think about them all of the time.

I leave you with this video from The Cosby Show. They tought us a lot but one thing they didn't skip out on was the romance between a man and a woman. Let's vow to bring in back.

Miracles and Blessings!

"believe in yourself right from the start"

Is it me or is today's youth crazy? lol I am sure that people thought the same way about us when we were children. One thing I want to do differently and share with children is the ability to dream bigger. I learned the power of dreaming big later on in life. If I had known about it as a child growing up, I can only imagine where I might be now. We should try to press this ability in our children's hearts, minds and spirits.

I don't have any children yet, but when I do have one or two (God-willing :-), they will learn a few things from a very you age; how to pray the Lord's Prayer, a few handy bible verses to keep in their hearts and back pockets and the amazing lyrics to the song The Impossible Dream. Please read it below and print it out for your children. Make them read it until they believe it!

The Impossible Dream

To dream the impossible dream
To fight the unbeatable foe
To bear with unbearable sorrow
And to run where
the brave dare not go

To right the unrightable wrong
And to love pure and chaste from afar
To try when your arms are too weary
To reach the unreachable star
This is my quest

To follow that star
No matter how hopeless
No matter how far
To fight for the right
Without question or pause

To be willing to march,
march into hell
For that heavenly cause
And I know
If I'll only be true
To this glorious quest
That my heart
Will lie peaceful and calm
When I'm laid to my rest
And the world will be
better for this
That one man, scorned
and covered with scars,
Still strove with his last
ounce of courage

To reach the unreachable,
the unreachable,
The unreachable star
And I'll always dream
The impossible dream
Yes, and I'll reach
The unreachable star

Miracles and Blessings!

friends - How many of us have them?

Welcome to today's blog. Do y'all like the changes I made? I tried to get a little more creative. Hope you enjoy the edited version.

So today's blog is about friends. Real friends. It is SO hard to find real friends. We should be prayerful and ask God to place people in our lives that will encourage and edify us. We should also ask that God gives us the dedication and desire to want to nuture our friendships and relationships. In order for anything to grow, you have take care of it and make efforts to sustain what you have built and are building. I believe this is where a lot of frienships and relationships fail. But some of us are guilty for staying in friendships and relationships just because we are too afraid to be alone. We don't even give being alone a chance. If we did, we'd find out that there are a lot of benefits in loving and being with just yourself. You are doing yourself a great disservice if you stay in a friendship or relationship just because you basically can't stand yourself enough to be by yourself. OUCH! I know I am stepping on some toes with that one but it's the truth.

Here's when you know it's time to walk away from a friendship or relationship:

1. You are conforming to what you think a person wants and in turn not being your true self. It's 2012. I don't have time for frontin'. Be the true you 100% of the time.
2. You are doing ALL the work in trying to sustain and build the relationship.   I've said this before and I will say it again, chase after the Lord and your dreams DO NOT chase after anyone. If you or they want the friendship or relationship, put in work!
3. You and your friend or significant other have been talking about the same things for years and no one is evolving. You have to grow in life in order to become your best self. Don't stick with someone who is stunting your spiritual, mental or physical growth. Move around, quickly.
4. You are no longer building one another up. It is true that sometimes you have to encourage yourself but got dog-it, sometimes you need it from others too. Everyone needs some help sometimes, including you.
5. You are always focused on their problems and them and never get to share yourself or your issues. Self-centeredness is an illness. You are not a healer but God is. Walk away and say a prayer that God shows that person how to be a real friend. He can heal them from themselves.

There are many other reasons to move on but these are my top five. Surround yourself with people you love and those people who take the valuable and precious time to love you back.

Miracles and Blessings!                          

drop this in your spirit

My close friends know that I love gospel music. I was really hurt when 92.1 was taken away from Houston because I loved listening to gospel all day. I am the kind of person who has a song in their head 24/7. That is why I like gospel because it is positive and uplifting. It's fun to focus on those lyrics. Now I am by no means a super saint. I love R&B and rap as much as the next person. But sometimes you just don't want to focus on "watching the throne." You know what I mean?

When I can't sleep at night, which is often, I turn my Richard Smallwood or Walter Hawkins station on through Pandora. Last nite this wonderful song came on and it's been in my head ALL day. I wanted to share it with you. I pray someone's spirit is lifted today. Love you all.

Here is the song and the lyrics. Read, listen, receive what is being said and enjoy!
Calling My Name

How many times do I go against Your will
then You forgive me
but yet I still turn around and do the things
the things I shouldn't do
cuz I belong to You
and I know You will come through
Lord I know I take advantage of Your grace
here in this christian race
but yet I still hear You calling my name

how many times would it take for me to learn
that it's only in Your will that I'll ever earn
I'll ever earn my life's reward
the honor due to me
life eternally riches in glory
Lord I know I know I don't belong
with You cuz I've done wrong
oh oh but yet I still hear You calling my name
yeah
How many times do I go against Your will
then You forgive me
but yet I still turn around and do the things
the things I shouldn't do
cuz I belong to You
and I know You will come through
Lord I know I take advantage of Your grace
here in this christian race
but yet I still hear You calling my name

You're calling my name to come into Your arms
to be safe from fear and harm
knowing this but I still choose to go my way
then You still say, You say that I am He
who will supply your every need
oh Lord I've sinned but You're still calling my name

oh Lord I've sinned but You're still calling my name

2 legit 2 quit

Today's blog will be nothing short of pure hilarity but it will have a lesson in the end. I am laughing to myself right now just thinking about what I am about to reveal.

So when I was 11 years old my dad took me and my sister to our first concert ever. We were living in Austin at the time and we drove all the way to the Houston Summit to see none other than Mr. "Can't Touch This" himself, M.C. Hammer. Back in the early 90's, Hammer was hot to put it mildly. Everyone had at least one pair of those ridiculous hammer pants and if you were old enough and could afford them, you were rocking those dreadful Gazelle glasses. I know I am taking y'all back with this one. Hammer had taken over and everybody was trying to master that damn "typewriter" dance. We were hammertized.

My dad chose to go all out since it was our first concert. We had seats on the floor right at the center of the stage. We were so excited. Hammer began performing and all I knew is that I needed to be elevated. I could not see the stage to save my life. I was too short and couldn't reach the level I needed to be at to enjoy the show. I thought for a second and I decided that if I stood in my chair, I could be taller, then I could see and enjoy the show. Well, my dad was standing right next to me, why I didn't ask him for help I will never know. I took it upon myself to stand up in my chair so I could see. The seats on the floor weren't the sturdiest thing in the world so once I stood in it and started dancing a little, my little ass fell right through the seat. I was shame and embarrassed. I can die laughing now thinking about it but I was so embarrassed then. Everyone was staring at me and asking if I was OK. I really just wanted to stay on the floor and let everyone do the hammer dance on me. I wanted to disappear into the concrete. If only I would have just asked my father for help, I could have avoided the embarrassment and pain. So now you see where I am going with this.

This blog is really about going after what you want but only with the help and guidance of God. How many times have you gone off and did your own thing, failed, then came back to God when your face was cracked? We all do it. Hopefully reading this story will make you think twice in the future. If we'd only ask God first what he thinks and how he thinks we should proceed, we could avoid so much heartache. So I am saying all this to say, chase and I mean run fast and with purpose after your dreams but ALWAYS consult with our Heavenly Father first. You and he together are 2 legit 2 quit.

Miracles and Blessings!

BRAVO - how 'bout a round of applause

Today's blog won't be very long but it will be one of our favorite things, HONEST!

I love reality television. Not so much for the mess, although that is an entertaining feature. I love it for the lessons we can learn from others crazy lives. Ratings thrive because these people are paid to expose what some of us would no way in hell expose for the greatest amount of money...our faults. Everything in life can teach a lesson if we allow ourselves to be taught. Let me show you how.

My favorite network these days is Bravo. My television stays on Bravo like some businesses televisions stay on CNN. I can't say that I am ultra proud of that fact but it's my reality. Hello, my name is Dee Lilly and I like trash TV. Here is a list of 5 tips from my 5 favorite Bravo shows.

1. Millionaire Matchmaker - NO SEX before monogamy.
2. Millionaire Matchmaker - No more than 2 drinks on a first date.
3. Rachel Zoe Project - You can never have too many options. (This tip pertains to clothing and accessories).
4. Real Housewives of Beverly Hills - These are the wives who have the real money. They have taught me that even the most ballerific women work for theirs. There is no sense of entitlement. You work, you earn.
5. Chef Roble - Hold your family members accountable, especially in business!

I know we can sit back and talk about these people in the reality shows negatively. Afterall, they make it so easy to do but don't forget to learn from their mistakes. As they live, we can learn.

PS. Can you tell I wasn't feeling this blog deep down in my spirit today? I will write a better one tomorrow :-)

Miracles and Blessings!

choose to learn as life teaches

Remember the first time someone broke your heart? The pain seemed like it was unbearable and all you wanted to do was not feel it. Who wants to deal with the hurt? Today's subject, coping mechanisms. I have many things that I do when I am stressed. Sometimes I workout, sometimes I overeat, sometimes I drink and sometimes I quote scriptures to myself. Of course the latter method is the best of them all. At the end of this blog, please feel free to share how you cope. Let's help one another.

I can remember a friend telling me that I don't like to feel my emotions. Who does? It's irritating! You ever get the feeling that you feel emotions way deeper than other people? That's how I think. I love way harder than the common man, I hurt way more than anybody else, when I am happy---I am the happiest person on earth! The truth of the matter is it takes a stronger person to face their emotions than it does to run from them. We ALL love hard, we all hurt, we all can exhibit extreme happiness. What sets us apart is the way we deal with these emotions once they are shaken.

One of my guilty pleasures is the TV show on A&E, Intervention. I LOVE this show. How many of you know that if you look back over your life and are truly honest; there have been plenty of times when you were one drink, one high, one love, one pill or one sexual partner from needing an intervention yourself. I like Intervention so much because I am always intrigued by the story that pushed them to the edge. What was that one thing that made them think they didn't want to feel that pain anymore? Why didn't they know how to cope?

We are rarely taught how to cope with adversity. Lord knows I wasn't. You often emulate the habits you see growing up when it comes to coping. I saw tons of addiction growing up so when I grew up, guess what I leaned towards...addiction. That is such a scary word. You think you have it under control but then one day you realize that you are dependent on a substance or a person that is not yourself or God. You are an addict. It's not cute, it's not in style but it is the truth.

I spent most of my 20's being a walking zombie. My coping mechanisms were non-existent. No one ever taught me how to deal with adversity. Unfortunately, it was something I had to learn the hard way. I drank like nobody' business. I remember at first it was fun. I would drink to be more social. It wasn't a big deal. It wasn't until I realized that I was drinking in order to become numb that I realized I was on the brink of a drinking problem. Even more embarrassing and terrible, I was an angry drunk. I directed anger to the people I loved the most. I was a wreck. People who know me know that I use to NEVER get angry.  What I've learned over the years is that it is okay to get angry. It is wonderful to express and feel every, single emotion. When you allow yourself to feel, you then can deal. Avoidance is never the answer.

So as I ramble through this blog and I try to close, I ask myself what do I want to leave with y'all today? I just want to say that it's never to late to learn. If you feel like you have unhealthy coping mechanisms, change. Period, the end. If you know someone with unhealthy coping mechanisms, don't judge but offer to be a help. Trust me, no matter how perfect you are, you are ONE situation away from being in that addict's shoes. Let's continue to edify. Let's take a pledge to build each other up, instead of tear each other down. Let's be the teachers our childhood wasn't.

Miracles and Blessings!

The Relentless

Did you hear about the rose that grew
from a crack in the concrete?
Proving nature's law is wrong
it learned to walk with out having feet.
Funny it seems, but by keeping it's dreams,
it learned to breathe fresh air.
Long live the rose that grew from concrete
when no one else ever cared.

I decided to name my blog "The Rose that Grew from Concrete" because this poem reminds me of a girl I used to know. This poem reminds me of a girl who still pops-up uninvited from time to time. I grew up with tons of folks who cared about me but I just recently began to really care for myself. Growing up, my father constantly reminded me of how special I was. He reminded me so much that it kind of got on my nerves. I used to think, "who is he talking about? I am not special, I am just me." As I grew into an adult and a saved adult, I began to believe what my father on earth and my father in Heaven said about me. I decided that on the days when I didnt believe in myself, I would hold on to their belief until it became my own.

I pledge to write for every person who has ever doubted themselves but surpisely kept excellling in everything they sought after. I write this blog for the mice, the people too shy to speak up but who keep moving anyway. I write this blog for the insecure adults, who want nothing more than to blend into the background but for some reason always get pushed to the forefront. I write this blog for the favored, for the people unworthy of every single blessing and for the people who know that without God you are nothing. I write this blog for the children of children who grew up with their parents, who still continue to grow with them and sometimes wonder if the blind are leading the blind. I write this blog for the wind beneath the wings of those who you've loved and helped soar. I write this blog for myself, the rose that grows inspite of everything thrown my way. I write this blog for the relentless, for the one's who never give up and the one's who hold on to hope even when they feel hope is walking away or nowhere to be find. I write this blog for you.

Happy New Year!